Beginner's Fitness Programs

Most often-heard complaints about husbands are that they are not helpful when their wives try to achieve work or health goals by sharing some of the burdens at home. Many say “if he were a bit more helpful, I could go to a gym and lose the 10 pounds he wants me to lose, but he doesn’t even lift a finger to help me!”

Maybe you are an exception and have a really helpful husband. He watches the kids while you are working out, shares the household chores, and even pushes you to go to the gym. You should not have any problems reaching your goal, but somehow you are missing workouts and don’t know why…

A new study published in Psychological Science explained why. People who get such support unconsciously over-depend on that person, relaxing their own efforts to achieve their goals, undermining their motivation, and increasing procrastination before starting the work.

Of course, a helpful husband does not mean you cannot achieve any goals. It may have a negative effect on a specific goal, such as working out, but if you measure the energy spent over many goals, having a helpful partner is definitely positive.

So what can you do to maximize your effectiveness in achieving goals when you have a very helpful partner? First of all, you need to recognize this fact clearly and consciously. If you know a potential danger, you can avoid it. Your partner should know that, too, so that if s/he sees some sign of procrastination of your side, s/he can remind you.

Second, set clear measurable step-by-step goals with time limits which you and your partner can see clearly. You can rely on his/her support, but now are also accountable to your partner. If you don’t achieve the goal you set, you now owe a debt for his/her help. Think that you are depriving your partner of a joy s/he could have gotten if you had achieved the goal. If you think this way, you can push yourself a lot harder.

Third, pay your partner back. S/he helps you to reach your goal, and then you must help him/her to achieve future goals. It is motivating to feel that you helped someone to achieve their goals. If both partners make a list of specific ways that you can help each other accomplish goals, the rewards are much larger. This will keep you going.

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